Living with Ellen DeGeneres by Domino, the mini poodle

    Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to live with Ellen DeGeneres.  Everyone knows that she is a major dog lover.  From photos I’ve seen of her, she seems to have an affection for poodles in particular; so that’s one thing in my favor.

    Those TV videos I've seen of her home show many dogs running around inside and outside, willy-nilly, in the most beautiful surroundings.  And much of her furniture appears to be beige and she doesn’t even care!  Things like this prove that she really walks the walk.  If I saw one sign of a slipcover, I’d know there was implied judgment about a dog’s boundaries in her home.  From what my friends and I have experienced, you don’t get to sleep in the bed of people who keep slipcovers on their furniture.

   Dogs rule chez Ellen.  While I feel a bit guilty about having thoughts to leave my own family, how could I resist living with Ellen if given the opportunity?  What dog could? 

   Besides the boundless affection she would lavish upon me, let’s talk amenities: miles of manicured lawn to explore, gourmet meals every day, the camaraderie of other canine pals.  Actually, just having a choice of pals, rather than my daily dose of Dash, my insufferable toy poodle brother, would probably be the best part of my life with Ellen. That in itself would be enough of a reason to move.

    In fact, in this scenario (and since it is my scenario), there IS no Dash. I’d somehow arrange to meet Ellen while Dash was busy at the groomer.  With him out of the way, I certainly wouldn’t voluntarily bring up his existence. Tee-hee!  She'd never know he was alive!  Then Ellen could just invite me to live with her.  Dash could always stay back with our family and comfort them through the trauma of my departure.  (I’m their favorite, you see.)

    That’s it!  I’m going to go for it and live my dream!  Who is it that says you should make a Dream Board and write out all of your goals in order to “live your best life?”  Oh wait, isn’t that Oprah?  And wasn’t she on a recent cover of her magazine reclining with four besotted spaniels in a hammock?  Not to mention, the food and back yard at her place must be pre-tty spectacular, too.

Ellen or Oprah?  Suddenly this decision has become a lot more complicated.

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