Mother visited her friend’s house last night. Since then, all I’ve heard is “Gage did this” and “Gage did that” about the dog that was living over there. What kind of name is Gage for a jack russell terrier? For that matter, what kind of name is any name except Perro Loco for a jack russell terrier?
Apparently Gage is adorable with a lovely white triangle of fur on top of his head. And although he’s 11, he still runs wildly through the house with childlike abandon (clearly ill-mannered, not sporty as Mother calls him).
Blinded by some lapse of judgment, Mother thought he was incredibly cute, despite the fact that he had “trouble” meeting new people and got a bit growly. She felt for him because his former owners had mistreated him. Oh give me a break! The dog’s 11; he’s just working it. Like we all don’t have a sad story to tell?
If I make even one unpleasant yip, Mother looks at me as if I jumped on the kitchen counter and stole a bite of the delicious chocolate cake she was saving for dinner, but it smelled too good to resist, so I had to have some, and boy, was it tasty, but then the whole thing fell on the floor and it was all ruined. Not that I would ever do such a thoughtless thing, I’m just saying if I get yippy, she’d look at me as if I had.
How can she get so mad at me for an occasional whine yet be all soft and woozy for a growling stranger? And why does my ball playing bother her so much if she thoroughly enjoyed Gage’s obsession, which was, from what I’ve heard about that night, his ongoing attempt to steal the bacon wrapped figs stuffed with goat cheese from the coffee table?
I’ve spoken about this with my brother, Domino; but he said that I have to learn to accept that life is filled with disappointment and double standards. This is why I don’t talk to him.
Then he seized that moment to go down a list of examples where he had found me as insensitive as our Mother. What a spotlight shifter!
Between my delusional mother and Diva Bro', who do I turn to when I want to be understood? It's not like I have a lot of options around here. And then everyone wants to know why I prefer to spend my time with a tennis ball??
Dear Dash,
ReplyDeleteI was named "Gage" by my previous owners who obviously didn't have a lot going for them in the brains department. Although I have heard tell that my present mommy, Linda, wanted to re-name me "Zen". Enough said!
I do feel that it would be advantageous for you to listen to Domino, who sounds like a wise sage.
Please do give my love to your grandmommy. She is quite fabulous! I definately think she took a liking to me (get over it) ! And, please, tell her to continue her wonderful blogs...they are the highlight of my day!
Best from the tough & cantankerous, Gage
Dear Gage,
ReplyDeleteThank you for the unsolicited advice. Perhaps you should meet Domino.
Sincerely, Dash
Dear Dash:
ReplyDeleteMy grandmother met your grandmother last month. They were kvelling over glass made into shapes that people just put on tables to look at. Go figure. All I know about glass is those pesky shards that hurt my paws on pavement. Much prefer the open trail. Hey, do poodles even smell anything? Always wondered...
Anyway, my mom told me that my human sister and your human sister were best childhood buddies in Connecticut and that your (may she rest in peace) departed sister Daisy was one great gal.
Greetings from Leah and Val and enjoy your new home in Sarasota. I have never had the pleasure, but my human family tells me it's wonderful and there's no snow. Sounds like heaven.
Best,
Maggie the Beagle
Dear Maggie,
DeleteYes, my great grandmother, Yvette, met your grandmother, Joyce, over shaped glass that people kvell over. I was very proud to learn that there is actually a famous dog glassblower called Chihuahua, if I heard his name correctly, who even has an entire museum in St. Pete, devoted to his glasswork.
I'm with you about loving the open trail, although around these parts, that would mean a dirt road through a mangrove where we watch out for rattlesnakes.. I don't know why this bothers our grandmother, Pamela, so much, but lately I've found her judgment in general, to be lacking in reason.
Thanks for the kind words about Daisy. I've heard about those great days our families all shared together, and there was even mention of adorable Carly and madcap Mona.
Greetings back to all of you from all of us here. Hope to see you one day!
Best, Dash